bitches

at least i don't have a dick up my ass

donatellavevo:

this was the best promo she did for any single of that album

(Source: christmonsterx, via clannyphantom)

Candy

(Source: suliaulen)

Once upon a time, there was “Candy” and “Dan.”Things were very hot that year. All the wax was melting in the trees. He would climb balconies, climb everywhere, do anything for her, oh Danny boy. Thousands of birds, the tiniest birds, adorned her hair. Everything was gold. One night the bed caught fire. He was handsome and a very good criminal. We lived on sunlight and chocolate bars. It was the afternoon of extravagant delight. Danny the daredevil. Candy went missing. The days last rays of sunshine cruise like sharks. I want to try it your way this time. You came into my life really fast and I liked it. We squelched in the mud of our joy. I was wet-thighed with surrender. Then there was a gap in things and the whole earth tilted. This is the business. This, is what we’re after. With you inside me comes the hatch of death. And perhaps I’ll simply never sleep again. The monster in the pool. We are a proper family now with cats and chickens and runner beans. Everywhere I looked. And sometimes I hate you. Friday — I didn’t mean that, mother of the blueness. Angel of the storm. Remember me in my opaqueness. You pointed at the sky, that one called Sirius or dog star, but on here on earth. Fly away sun. Ha ha fucking ha you are so funny Dan. A vase of flowers by the bed. My bare blue knees at dawn. These ruffled sheets and you are gone and I am going to. I broke your head on the back of the bed but the baby, he died in the morning. I gave him a name. His name was Thomas. Poor little god. His heart pounds like a voodoo drum.

it becomes a lot easier to hear the word “faggot” if you replace it in ur head with ‘foggot”

thebeastfromthebigeast:

quackenbuschlight:

i remember one time this dude sent me a shirtless pic with the caption “lol maybe u can save this for a rainy day ;)”

and i was like “for what? to keep me dry? because that’s what it’s doing right now”

image

(via assbutt-in-the-garrison)

harryedward:

A windows phone could literally predict the future and I would still want an iPhone

(via clannyphantom)

TotallyLayouts has Tumblr Themes, Twitter Backgrounds, Facebook Covers, Tumblr Music Player and Tumblr Follower Counter